Ayo whattup its ya boy P-Tone aka Thor Molecules aka Cocaine Biceps aka Phantom Raviolis nahmean. Word is bond. Otherwise known as the Inventor of the Slap. Imma break down the stats for yall mathematical niggas tho....Average fucks given per hour = 0 namsayin. Come holla at Tone if you need somebody to draw yalls the diagrams namsayin. Word yo...lets get into this shit. As yall kno...the BET Cyphers is basically the only part of the shows worth watchin nahmean. So...due to popular demand...the god gon share a couple a his thoughts on that shit son. Word. The shit went sumthin like this...
Indie Meets Mainstream
Big K.R.I.T. - Son Krit is dope...but Im pretty sure ey'body was hopin for son to do a little better. He wasnt wack or nothin...shit jus wasnt that special (6.5)
Tech N9ne - Imma be honest...I dont really fuck wit sons music like that...n when I seen the nigga rockin a polo witta a necktie it jus made feel like son dont got no decorum. I aint even understand what the nigga was really sayin to be honest yo. But I kno he got some shit. (6.5)
Machine Gun Kelly - This snow nigga kinda caught me off guard cos I aint really expect much from him nahmean...even when the shit wrapped n I seen son had on some tight red pants it aint make no difference to me yo. Son was definitely aight (7)
Kendrick Lamar - Ok...now I been sayin that my dude is the future for a minute now b. But the little homie seemed kinda uncomfortable...n he aint really get in his zone like how we kno he could. So nah... he aint murder the shit the way I thought he would...but he still managed to disrespect the beat a couple times (7.5)
B.o.B. - Im not really a fan of this daisy caressin nigga like that son. Like I dont hate his ass or nothin but I definitely dont fuck wit his music or nothin b. Which is why this shit surprised me. Son was in control the whole time n managed to bring some energy to this shit (7.5)
Uncut Cypher
Reek Da Villain - I aint really that familiar wit dude. I only heard this nigga spit like one other time ever nahmean. He wasnt sayin no mindblowin shit...but son can flow. But all that "lyrical scientist...leavin mics wit psoriasis" shit is like some old Keith Murray bullshit. Its 2011 son. Cmon b. (6.5)
2chainz - Sons shit started out corny as fuck wit shit like "If this was New Edition I'd be Bobby Brown" n rhymin "funeral" wit "hula hoop" n whatever...but shit picked up n the nigga actually kinda got busy yo. (7)
Busta Rhymes - Son brought that vet swagger. He mighta been cheesin like a muthafucka at the start n standin like he was bout to ask Don Corleone for a favor...but son got serious real soon after that. My dude said some fly shit nahmean. Son flexin his clout too cos they let the nigga spit like 40 bars b (8.5)
Ludacris - Luda started his shit by tellin Preemo to slow the beat down so we could understand "EVERY WORD"...then son proceeded to spit his struggle bars all the way thru that shit. Nigga hit us wit corny punchline after corny punchline yo..."Need more Jaguars than Jacksonville"? "I got it MAID like Arnold Schwarzenneger...get it?" Nah b....shit was corny LIKE CORN WIT THE 5TH LETTER (get it?) Nevermind...have a seat yo. (5.5)
Survival of The Illest
Rage - This shit jus reminded me that broads actually could rap at one time b. Wasnt nothin special...but it was a whole lot better than the Nicki, KREAYSHAWN n Tyga shit that we stuck wit these days yo (6.5)
Blind Fury - Son looked like he was 75 years old....so I was kinda surprised that the muthafucka could spit. Turns out he jus blind. They coulda stopped movin the cameras on this nigga tho...like he spose to kno where to look. (7)
Dom Kennedy - Now THIS nigga had the nerve to start his shit off wit "Even tho I can't see me...I know I look good rite now on ya tv" Damn yo....no regard for the nigga that jus went before him AT ALL my dude. Wasnt nothin incredible... but Dom did his thing (6.5)
Skillz - This nigga aint switched up his flow once in like 16 years b. He got corny punchlines galore son. GALORE yo. They not even jus bad...they the kind that make you feel uncomfortable..like you feel embarassed n you aint even the one sayin all that wack shit. Nigga even brought along props. Like he been preparin for that shit for the last 3 months. Nah this cocky ass nigga seriously need to get the fuck outta here already. (4.5)
Maybach Music Group
Wale - At least he woke up for this one. I think one year son looked like they jus snatched him up from a nap. Wasnt some shit that would change anybodys life or nothin but he sorta went in nahmean. (7)
Pill - Meek seemed to kno like ALLthe words to this shit son. I mean...it was cool but again the shit wasnt nothin special. (6.5)
Stalley - Aka the most ridiculous ass beard attached to a human face on earth yo. Shit lookin like a black cloud of fungus...son wasnt even rhymin half his shit but he still had some aight bars I guess yo. (6.5)
Meek Mill - Usually I jus be thinkin son is kinda ass...but when his voice aint hittin high notes he aight...Seemed like ey'body in the room wit him knew the words to that shit yo. (6.5)
Rick Ross - Rozay was rockin a satin outfit n kept that shit mad ignorant. Lyrically tho...he kept the ignorance to a minimum namsayin. Son said "Nice ball cap" to Wale....but I think dude forgot to put one on before the shit started.. But anyways yo...the chubby nigga aint never droppin the ball when it comes to mic presence neither. Son went in. (7.5)
International Flow
Estelle - I dont think ma was there to really spit so Imma jus leave this one alone.
Nitty Scott - Kinda corny n the flow was mad oldschool b...She even started that shit wit "kick it like kung-fu" n then spit "droppin bombs like Saddam"...Damn ma...I think Ice Cube said that shit in like '93. I thought the Luda shit was ass... (4.5)
LaCrae - This dude seemed hungrier than the other new niggas...even tho son dressed like he jus escaped from the movie Juice n transported hisself to the future. His shit was mad short n to the point tho. (7.5)
Saprano - Tone dont realy speak any France language... but this nigga could obviously spit b. Plus he had the highlight for this session wit that Bawse line. (7.5)
Estelle - Turns out that ma was there to spit afterall yo. Her shit was aight. I was more impressed that she barely had to open her mouth for the words to come out tho. I dig when broads got British accents tho g...so I aint mind this too much. (6)
Chris Brown n Friends Cypher (aka the Struggle Session)
Ace Hood - Aight...do not start your bars off witta moment of silence for the beat if you aint gon even barely injure that muthafucka son. Whatever tho. Shit was aight son. (7)
Kevin McCall - Ayo whats wit these played out punchlines g? Did this nigga really take it back to "Jeffrey Dahmer" yo? But son..."flow sicker than HIV" tho? Forreal? (6.5)
Tyga - JUS GET THIS CORNY NIGGA THE FUCK OUTTA HERE SON (5)
Breezy - Ayo my nigga...Justin Bieber murdered you on ya own shit. But real talk....you kno theres sumthin wrong when Breezy walks away wit the most memorable shit in the cypher session. Son is a wack ass human being...but he did his thing here son...I aint gon lie. (7)
Shady 2.0 (aka the only shit that really mattered...)
Yelawolf - When the weakest link in the crew is a muthafucka that still spits better than 90% of niggas in rap...you kno you got a serious roster my nigga. Son jus gettin this session started for his mans n he already put holes in the beat nahmean. (8)
Joe Budden - Budden took the laid back approach on this one...but even when son is jus ridin in cruise control he still slaps the beat around like it aint even a problem for him. He starts goin harder in the second half tho...which is the shit I preferred yo. (8.5)
Crooked I - Son came for blood. He had the beat in a headlock for pretty much his whole verse yo. "Before you die you should do the Jada n leave a Will"...nice one b. Crook blacked out on this shit. (9)
Joell Ortiz - Wasnt crazy bout sons punchlines...n he had that one corny reference to old ass shit like Eddie Murphy n prostitutes or whatever. But son kept his part entertainin nahmean. Plus his shit was jokes. (8)
Royce Da 5'9" - "Hi Rihanna"...you already kno. This is emceeing son. Not even his best shit n he still tore the beat in half yo. If only Em wasnt bout to go in... (9.5)
Eminem - Theres two versions of Em...the one that kinda whines bout shit too much n be soundin like a damn drama queen on his joints namsayin....n then theres that beast ass muthafucka that straight up eats beats n spits out the bones...the one that breathes fire on mics n causes niggas to give up on rap n go get jobs at Target. The dude who murders Jay-Z on his own shit. That snow nigga who jus so happen to rhyme wit the sharpest flow in the history of rap. That dude. Imma tell you like this par...the drama queen aint show up to this shit yo. At all son. The thing is tho....ALL these niggas musta known son was gon be takin part n they was still jus sleepwalkin thru they shit anyways. Ayo if Im participatin in this shit n they tell me "oh yeah...by the way son....Marshall Mathers is gon be doin this shit too" Imma lose sleep perfectin my shit b. Namsayin Im not comin to the BET studios wit that Skillz bullshit son. Word is bond. Imma be hungry. So lord...explain to me how the muthafucka wit the most successful career, the most doe, n the most respect came thru n had the most hunger STILL. Thats what Im talmbout son. (10)
Shout outs to the whole Shady team... See these dudes kno how to end they verses on a high note too...not on some slip out the door shit. But on some AIGHT IM GOIN NOW *door slam* shit. Word.
Aight peace
No comments:
Post a Comment