Ayo whattup yall...the Hands of Zeus aka Thor Molecules aka Phantom Raviolis aka Cocaine Biceps... otherwise known as The Blog King n the Inventor of the Slap...is now officially back in the building namsayin. As summa yalls already kno...the god aint really no big fan of the nigga whose album Im bout to discuss nahmean. But Imma give this shit a unbiased real ass nigga persective yo. Imma ga'head n introduce the nigga now namsayin. Ayo...kinda like ya boy Big Ghost...son goes by many names b...Drizzy or Aubrey or jus Aubs...n the Artist Formerly Known as Wheelchair Jimmy nahmean. But yalls might know him as The Kitten Whisperer aka The Harvester of Pauses aka The Taio Cruz of Hip Hop aka Young Garnier Fructis the pre-cum baby aka Jennifer Aniston's favorite emcee....n the muthafucka most likely to have a gateway to Narnia in his closet aka The Michael Buble of Rap or that nigga witta beatin vagina for a heart that you be hearin on the radio sandwiched between Katy Perry n Lady Gaga joints all day aka Justin Biebers beard n the only nigga on earth capable of turnin sandpaper into moist towelettes wit the touch of his hands...the vagina nectar-garglin nigga who makes lambs look dangerous hisself.....otherwise known as the Human Electric Slide... OctobVariesOwn....Drake. Now I promise yall...I aint got no expectations or plans to hate on this nigga unless the shit jus so happens to be wack nahmean...Word is bond. Truth is...I aint really got nothin against son like that yo. Aight lets go...
Ayo fuck this nigga b. First off...this nigga gotta stop wit this lonely mobster image he tryin to portray these days yo. This nigga said this shit was bout him feelin like he a king tho. Son said "I used to stare at this world through a glass window and, like, two to three years later, I become a king in that world. That's who's sitting on that cover..." They give this nigga a muthafuckin goblet n a table for one witta candle n a bronze owl n now he runnin rap? Nigga ya respect from ya peers is as deep as the success you got in the mainstream. Aint nobody in rap lookin up to you like that cos you dope. Your success is whats dope to these niggas son. King tho? Fuck outta here b.
1. Over My Dead Body - A forreal....this sounds like the soundtrack to some Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants type shit son. I forget who the broad he got singin the hook on this muthafucka is...but i think its Renee Zellweger or some shit. I feel like Im inside a Barnes & Noble or a Starbucks b... This joint is more light in the ass than the fushigi gravity balls you see in those infomercials at 3 in the mornin son. But yo...how the first words that this nigga got the nerve to utter on this muthafuckin album gon be "I think I killed errybody in the game last year man"? Pardon me son? Word? You mean the same year that Kanye dropped another classic album in...while yo overrated ass uhhh....DID NOT? That year b? You mean the year when niggas predicted you was gon do a milli the first week out n you did 450k instead...n then a few days later Eminem dropped n he did like 750k in HIS first week n kept YOU from gettin back to the top of the charts? The same year that Em n Jigga won all the Grammys YOU was spose to take home? THAT year son? Oh.
2. Shot For Me - I dont even know what to say b. Like forreal...after hearin this shit...I wouldnt be surprised if this nigga could pollinate a flower wit his fuckin breath son. Im pretty sure that son gets up in the morning n plays his harp for his cats n then slides down the muthafuckin banister in his satin man nightie n has a full glass of breast milk before he goes to the studio n hammers out some pooned out shit like this b. Sons talkin to a broad thru the whole song on some bitter shit n at one point the nigga even says "The way you walk...thats me. The way you talk...thats me. The way you got your hair up...did you forget? Thats me" Son... Thats you? Aight then... But the boy aint done yet yo...at the end of the joint he proposes a toast. This is how that shit go...
2. Shot For Me - I dont even know what to say b. Like forreal...after hearin this shit...I wouldnt be surprised if this nigga could pollinate a flower wit his fuckin breath son. Im pretty sure that son gets up in the morning n plays his harp for his cats n then slides down the muthafuckin banister in his satin man nightie n has a full glass of breast milk before he goes to the studio n hammers out some pooned out shit like this b. Sons talkin to a broad thru the whole song on some bitter shit n at one point the nigga even says "The way you walk...thats me. The way you talk...thats me. The way you got your hair up...did you forget? Thats me" Son... Thats you? Aight then... But the boy aint done yet yo...at the end of the joint he proposes a toast. This is how that shit go...
"May your neigbors respect you
Trouble neglect you, angels protect you
And Heaven accept you".
Ayo I gotta toast for you too Drake..."May you shut the fuck up"
3. Headlines - Lets be real...lotta yall muthafuckas dont wanna accept that this shit was a crime against heterosexuality...but thats cool. Yall feel like the human croissant did his thing on this shit. I respect that. But anyways...the god already had a few thoughts on this shit a few months ago namsayin. Yall can peep that shit rite HERE
4. Crew Love (ft The Weeknd) - Ayo I been startin to accept that maybe ALL these joints is gon be bitchmade son. Truth is I fucks wit The Weeknd tho b. The music on this shit aint that bad...but it aint really no kinda beat namsayin. But then here come Young Angel talmbout havin "soldiers" n niggas "who came up off the strip" for him n "come up off the hip" for him if he need em to. I mean......jus stop that shit son. Niggas kno ya pedigree b. Like you wasnt the little nigga ridin ponies n doin cartwhels in the backyard livin that upperclass suburban life before you became a Canadian teen soap opera star n shit b. Now you the nigga tuckin napkins in ya shirt while you eat cos you "mobbin like that" n orderin hits on niggas who disrespect you...jus stop it Aubrey. Son said "I think I like who Im becoming..." Im sayin the boy Aubs is startin to feel hisself a little too much b. Anyways son...when I thinks of Crew Love I think bout Beanie Sigel movin J Cole's mentor out his way so he could body the fuck outta a glorious ass beat while Jiggaman in his prime delivers a hook that sticks to ya ribs namsayin. Thats what Im gon always think of son...
5. Take Care - Is this shit house? This shits like some kinda African disco shit b. Nothin wrong witta nigga gettin his international on but sons spittin those cream-filled bars again. Ayo son actually dropped the words "tears all over the pillowcase" namsayin...like I aint even had to make that shit up b. But dont worry ma...Aubrey got his cape on again ...tellin the broads of the world exactly what yall spose to be thinkin n feelin n how "Somebody shouldve told you something...to save you". The moisture levels on this shit got clouds formin over my speakers b.
6. Marvin's Room/Buried Alive [Interlude] (ft Kendrick Lamar) - Aka the "Player HATER'S Anthem". This nigga jus gon use bein drunk as a green light to talk to a broad while her man aint around n tell her that son aint shit. This is what little marshmallow ass muthafuckas do tho. Word. Now clown ass niggas is gon try n justify this shit as son jus dealin wit real nigga emotions n shit...or like he aint afraid to jus be honest. Nah. Fuck ya real emotions b. Thats like sayin "oh son was jussa little tipsy off them 4 flirtinis he had n so he dropped dime on his mans who was violatin his parole but he was jus dealin wit some real nigga emotions..." Nah yo. Fuck THIS nigga b. But my dude Kendrick Lamar continuin his streak of rockin on other niggas high profile joints n stealin the whole spotlight from em by spittin the illest shit on the album. Problem is that the genius nigga that sequenced these joints tacked the muthafuckin interlude onto the end of this bullshit ass song yo...so you gotta either sit thru this audio progesterone ey'time or fast forward thru the muthafuckin lotion dispensatizing takin place jus to hear that muthafucka son. Im tellin you tho son....this nigga BEEN alignin hisself wit the niggas he most threatened by...the muthafuckas he sees comin for a piece of HIS pie nahmean. Yall jus aint seein it. He wanna keep muthafuckas like The Weeknd under his wing for a reason b. Theres a reason why son had J Coles ass openin for him (pause?) on tour. Theres a reason why son got Kendrick n ASAP Rocky openin for his ass on THIS tour b. These niggas might appreciate what son doin for em...but I see what the insecure shook nigga who be goin thru broads purses while they in the bathroom is doin son. Imma need somebody to edit Aubrey off this track for me tho...
7. Underground Kings - Imma speak on this speak on this song one time one time Awwwwh. The beat is kinda trill. Yeah the beat is kinda trill Awwwhhhhhhh. But ahh cant take how son raps...no not even a liiiitlebit. Not even a liiiiittlebit. Naw ahh don't really giiiiveashit. Nawwwwww...
Cos really ahh dont giveashit. They - keep - tellin - me that - ahh - jus - need - to - learn - to - giiiveashit. Maybe if you was in my shoes youd kno why ahh jus cant giiiiveashit. Ahh think its deliberate. Yeah ahh think its deliberate.
This song is too much homosex. Bwoy ahh aint into homosex. This nigga is so homosex....nothin against homosexuawwwwwwwls....But ah dont give a fuck what boobie say. He - might - be - cool - wit - Bun - but - nigga - Aubrey - aint - no -U-G-K....
Nawwww.....cos nigga you be gay. Ah - think- that - the - whole - world - thinkin - you be into bootie play Ahh....Nigga ahh jus think this songiswack...I - wasted - 3 - whole - minutes - of - my - life - nigga...I wannumback Ackhhh
8. We'll Be Fine - This shit got some bump to it. I was thinkin Young Angel might even try n lace this shit yo. This nigga jus lazy as fuck now tho son. Say what you want bout this niggas inability to display masculine tendencies n shit par..but son use to kno how to rap kinda namsayin. The nigga aint exactly spittin those sewage bars he been slidin to Wayne...but son had a few Carter 4-worthy moments on this shit too yo. "I heard you got your ways...I never woulda known. She said "yer such a dog...I said yer such a bone".
Birdman gettin his handrub on all over the end of this shit too. Shit had niggas worried cos he sounded like he was bout to rap....instead the nigga jus did his best to paint this nigga witta gangster brush....."Toronto stand up for one of the realest niggas...Drizzy wit the realest flow...y'kno? Toast to this gangsta shit fellas...." Word yo...jus look at this gangsta ass nigga....
9. Umso Umso Umso Umso Usmo Proud of You (ft Nicki Minaj) - I aint even mad at this beat son...but the shit this nigga be sayin yo...."I love it when your hair still wet cos you jus took a shower...runnin on a treadmill n only eating salad...sound so smart like you graduated college". I cant even stomach that shit b. Son always gotta be on some "Gurl you kno you look yo best when you jus gettin up in the morning n you got them creases on yo face from yo pillow n that crusty shit all in yo eyes cos thats the real you gurl awwwwwhhh" shit. That or he feedin broads that "you aint even kno how special you is cos other niggas dont be noticin it...but I do" shit. Ayo pardon me if you a female that happens to fall for this cornball shit...but most niggas DO be knowin bout these muthafuckin covert broad tactics namsayin. This nigga tellin you what you wanna hear n throwin all the other niggas you talk to under the bus....n got you convinced that he actually feel that way ma. Son be preyin on the weak. The nigga jus gon parallel park his top down bitchmobile on the track n do nothin but wait for these low self esteem havin broads to come flyin across the hood of his shit n take that bait. But its whatever namsayin. Let this nigga get his false Beyonce female empowerment on. But that hook son. Ayo is this nigga still attached to a placenta sack b?
10. Lord Knows (ft Rick Ross) - Anybody remember the last time Just Blaze produced a wack joint now? This beat is some incredible shit my nigga. Rozay does his thing too...n if I couldnt understand what the homie Young Playtex was sayin...I would say his shit was aight too. But listen to this niggas bars son.....
But yo..I fucks wit this joint son. Real talk tho...I woulda fucked wit it even if there was no vocals until the Bawse comes in n gets his ignorant on anyways. If somebody gets me a instrumental of this joint Imma jus play the shit outta that muthafucka too son. Matter fact Im lookin forward to hearin OTHER niggas body this shit namsayin (no...not you Papoose). Cos son gave this nigga one of the top 3 beats of the year nahmean. Plus Just Blaze beats is like jeggings son....they can make almost any bitch ass look good.
11. Cameras/Good Ones Go (Interlude) - That Jon B I hear son? Anyways this nigga jus gon get his Lil Tunechi froggy flow on now. At the end of the day this is jus some more of that "Here nigga hold my purse music" that son been specializin in for the last few years. But its almost like a cherub came n whispered in the niggas ear after he recorded this shit n told him "Son...this shit aint moist enough b...you need to come do a duet wit me now" for the interlude...
12. Doing it Wrong (ft Stevie Wonder) - This nigga jus took bitchassedness in hip hop to a whole new level on this one b. Like son jus discovered new frontiers in softness that aint nobody EVER explored my nigga. I cant even believe what the fuck this dude sayin yo.
"When a good thing goes bad its not the end of the world...its jus the end of a world that you had wit one girl"
No dignity whatsoever b. None. ZERO son. Not a single solitary snowflake of fuckin decorum left in this nigga. I tried to type out the muthafuckin words to the hook n that delicate ass shit jus floated off the screen when I did it yo...so you jus gon have to listen to that shit yaself son. This nigga gotta orchard of pauses blossoming all over this muthafucka. If yall enjoy these audio vagina injections thats cool...but I cant fuck wit this shit nahmean. I kno son is legedary as fuck...but Stevie playin his harmonica over that shit at the end dont mean shit to me neither b. Might also be time for my dude to jus think bout lettin go of those braids already par. Those muthafuckas start like 8 inches further back than they did in the 80s nahmean. No disrespect to the legend but Im jus sayin b...
13. The Real Her (ft Lil Wayne & Andre 3000) - Now its time for this niggas ode to savin strippers. Havin 3 Stacks on this joint dont make this shit any less unacceptable b. But whenever the citizens of Los Hopeless get tired of lettin niggas slip singles down the crack of they asses they jus flash that muthafuckin vagina spotlight up on the clouds n wait for this nigga to slide down a rainbow witta cape on his back n a tote bag full of sweaters he jus finished crocheting to come save they asses son. The boy Drake is fightin on the front lines of the war for keepin broads from takin they clothes off for money b. This nigga saves more hoes before 9 am than most niggas gon save in they whole life namsayin.
14. HYFR [Hell Ya Fuckin Right] (ft Lil Wayne) - If this muffin-top havin ass nigga wasnt jus squirtin out another sonnet bout the same shit n talmbout textin a broad the whole time I woulda said son killed the first 40 seconds of this muthafucka. Anyways yo....I dont hate this shit. I mean...I dont really fuck wit it like that neither...but I aint mad at it yo. Im sayin I dont see myself wantin to smack a nigga witta light post or nothin if he play this shit in front of me or nothin. Like I dont feel like I gotta slap a nigga into another realm of the universe n go seed his broad up if he accidentally lets this shit come thru the speakers namsayin. I aint gon necessarily throw a volcano at a nigga if he got this shit playin in his crib n I can hear the muthafucka nahmean. I mean...thats definitely some kinda improvement over the rest of this bullshit yo.
15. Look What You've Done - Im havin Sideline Story flashbacks b. This nigga nearly put me to sleep wit this shit yo...but this shit probably one of the better joints on this muthafucka still. Its like this nigga on a roll now wit back to back joints thats still kinda bitchmade but not as horrible as all the other bitchmade shit on this album nahmean. You could even say that if son jus did more bitchass shit like this instead of the other bitchass shit he do...he would be aight. This shit is so delicate that playin it out loud wit no headphones actually jus made my clothes softer b. But it was definitely a step in the slightly less bitchnigga direction for son.
17. The Ride (ft The Weeknd) - Ayo my illegally downloaded version of this muthafucka aint come wit this track par.
So thats the whole album son...or what Im gon refer to as that cascading waterfall of invisible dicks that sons fans call his music. Swear this nigga got the most forgiving fans on earth tho b. The nigga gets that exotic budgie tatted on his shoulder..."Nah chill...he jus doin him son". The nigga drops a million odes to savin broads..."Ayo chill...son jus tryna live par". The nigga starts rockin sweaters from 1983 Sears catalogs n shows up to awards shows wearin grandmother cardigans made from old sofas..."Nah chill...son jus stayin tru to hisself"...Im sayin b...the nigga could show up at a awards show wearin a unitard n niggas would still be like..."Jus let that nigga do him....he jus doin him son". Yall muthafuckas should be ashamed of yallselves tho....for lettin it come to this shit in the first place namsayin. Yall LET this niggas get to the top like that. Im talkin to niggas who emcee too. Yall done allowed this nigga to come in the door...n now he done opened the floodgates to a million other soft ass muthafuckas jus like him son. Ayo nobody disrespected Father MC n Candyman like that back in the day b. Them niggas was makin careers outta droppin soft ass shit too. Dudes aint try to crush they whole existence or nothin...but niggas aint exactly say "Ayo Father MC n Candyman yall niggas should be showin the rest of us muthafuckas what direction to take Hip Hop in yo...". But I dont even blame Drake b. That nigga SHOULD be able to have his lane. Its all good son. I hate that niggas music n he definitely that corny nigga at the club who pops open a bottle of champagne n then sniffs the cork...but he allowed to follow his dreams b. But yall niggas put that muthafucka on a pedestal. Like I said b...I dont blame Aubrey tho. Drake is what happens when ya son is conceived during a period week namsayin. That nigga was jus conceived on the wrong end of a menstrual cycle yo. These niggas gon always exist bruh. But I aint no follower son. If I dont like some shit...I dont jus rock wit it cos thats what broads be listenin to... n cos I want broads to be feelin me. Thats like sprayin yaself wit perfume jus cos chicks be enjoyin that shit...Yall effeminate ass niggas smarten up. Niggas always callin Drizzy homo tho. Im sayin yo...I dont think thats even the case b. N if it was...I aint judgin the nigga based on none of that yo. I mean...maybe son is kinda homo-esque. But either way par...this niggas masculinity been terminally ill for a hot minute now...that shits been on life support since Thank Me Later dropped b. But Im sure that muthafucka done kicked the bucket forreal wit this album son. If you niggas cop retail versions of this shit dont forget to take the cd in for a yearly pap smear b. Ayo fuck this shit son. Aight peace.
By the way yo...Imma give this shit...
1 Zeus Slap outta 5
or
5 Drake Pinky Salutes outta 5
Take ya pick b.
5. Take Care - Is this shit house? This shits like some kinda African disco shit b. Nothin wrong witta nigga gettin his international on but sons spittin those cream-filled bars again. Ayo son actually dropped the words "tears all over the pillowcase" namsayin...like I aint even had to make that shit up b. But dont worry ma...Aubrey got his cape on again ...tellin the broads of the world exactly what yall spose to be thinkin n feelin n how "Somebody shouldve told you something...to save you". The moisture levels on this shit got clouds formin over my speakers b.
"Pushin me away so I give her space
dealin witta heart I didnt break
I be there for you, I will care for you
I keep thinkin you jus dont kno..."
6. Marvin's Room/Buried Alive [Interlude] (ft Kendrick Lamar) - Aka the "Player HATER'S Anthem". This nigga jus gon use bein drunk as a green light to talk to a broad while her man aint around n tell her that son aint shit. This is what little marshmallow ass muthafuckas do tho. Word. Now clown ass niggas is gon try n justify this shit as son jus dealin wit real nigga emotions n shit...or like he aint afraid to jus be honest. Nah. Fuck ya real emotions b. Thats like sayin "oh son was jussa little tipsy off them 4 flirtinis he had n so he dropped dime on his mans who was violatin his parole but he was jus dealin wit some real nigga emotions..." Nah yo. Fuck THIS nigga b. But my dude Kendrick Lamar continuin his streak of rockin on other niggas high profile joints n stealin the whole spotlight from em by spittin the illest shit on the album. Problem is that the genius nigga that sequenced these joints tacked the muthafuckin interlude onto the end of this bullshit ass song yo...so you gotta either sit thru this audio progesterone ey'time or fast forward thru the muthafuckin lotion dispensatizing takin place jus to hear that muthafucka son. Im tellin you tho son....this nigga BEEN alignin hisself wit the niggas he most threatened by...the muthafuckas he sees comin for a piece of HIS pie nahmean. Yall jus aint seein it. He wanna keep muthafuckas like The Weeknd under his wing for a reason b. Theres a reason why son had J Coles ass openin for him (pause?) on tour. Theres a reason why son got Kendrick n ASAP Rocky openin for his ass on THIS tour b. These niggas might appreciate what son doin for em...but I see what the insecure shook nigga who be goin thru broads purses while they in the bathroom is doin son. Imma need somebody to edit Aubrey off this track for me tho...
7. Underground Kings - Imma speak on this speak on this song one time one time Awwwwh. The beat is kinda trill. Yeah the beat is kinda trill Awwwhhhhhhh. But ahh cant take how son raps...no not even a liiiitlebit. Not even a liiiiittlebit. Naw ahh don't really giiiiveashit. Nawwwwww...
Cos really ahh dont giveashit. They - keep - tellin - me that - ahh - jus - need - to - learn - to - giiiveashit. Maybe if you was in my shoes youd kno why ahh jus cant giiiiveashit. Ahh think its deliberate. Yeah ahh think its deliberate.
This song is too much homosex. Bwoy ahh aint into homosex. This nigga is so homosex....nothin against homosexuawwwwwwwls....But ah dont give a fuck what boobie say. He - might - be - cool - wit - Bun - but - nigga - Aubrey - aint - no -U-G-K....
Nawwww.....cos nigga you be gay. Ah - think- that - the - whole - world - thinkin - you be into bootie play Ahh....Nigga ahh jus think this songiswack...I - wasted - 3 - whole - minutes - of - my - life - nigga...I wannumback Ackhhh
8. We'll Be Fine - This shit got some bump to it. I was thinkin Young Angel might even try n lace this shit yo. This nigga jus lazy as fuck now tho son. Say what you want bout this niggas inability to display masculine tendencies n shit par..but son use to kno how to rap kinda namsayin. The nigga aint exactly spittin those sewage bars he been slidin to Wayne...but son had a few Carter 4-worthy moments on this shit too yo. "I heard you got your ways...I never woulda known. She said "yer such a dog...I said yer such a bone".
Birdman gettin his handrub on all over the end of this shit too. Shit had niggas worried cos he sounded like he was bout to rap....instead the nigga jus did his best to paint this nigga witta gangster brush....."Toronto stand up for one of the realest niggas...Drizzy wit the realest flow...y'kno? Toast to this gangsta shit fellas...." Word yo...jus look at this gangsta ass nigga....
 |
| "And shout out to Toronto bitch Im Tony in my city" |
9. Umso Umso Umso Umso Usmo Proud of You (ft Nicki Minaj) - I aint even mad at this beat son...but the shit this nigga be sayin yo...."I love it when your hair still wet cos you jus took a shower...runnin on a treadmill n only eating salad...sound so smart like you graduated college". I cant even stomach that shit b. Son always gotta be on some "Gurl you kno you look yo best when you jus gettin up in the morning n you got them creases on yo face from yo pillow n that crusty shit all in yo eyes cos thats the real you gurl awwwwwhhh" shit. That or he feedin broads that "you aint even kno how special you is cos other niggas dont be noticin it...but I do" shit. Ayo pardon me if you a female that happens to fall for this cornball shit...but most niggas DO be knowin bout these muthafuckin covert broad tactics namsayin. This nigga tellin you what you wanna hear n throwin all the other niggas you talk to under the bus....n got you convinced that he actually feel that way ma. Son be preyin on the weak. The nigga jus gon parallel park his top down bitchmobile on the track n do nothin but wait for these low self esteem havin broads to come flyin across the hood of his shit n take that bait. But its whatever namsayin. Let this nigga get his false Beyonce female empowerment on. But that hook son. Ayo is this nigga still attached to a placenta sack b?
10. Lord Knows (ft Rick Ross) - Anybody remember the last time Just Blaze produced a wack joint now? This beat is some incredible shit my nigga. Rozay does his thing too...n if I couldnt understand what the homie Young Playtex was sayin...I would say his shit was aight too. But listen to this niggas bars son.....
"So Im goin thru her phone if she go to the bathroom n her purse rite there...I dont trust these hoes at all"
"Thats why I walk around wit all this gold on...n every time I run into these niggas they want no problems"
"They take the greats from the past n compare us...I wonder if theyd ever survive in this era"
"I know of all the things that I hear they be pokin fun at...never the flow...they kno I run that"
"Im a descendant of either Marley or Hendrix"
"Im hearin all of the jokes...I kno they tryna push me...I kno that showin emotion dont ever mean Im pussy"
"A lot of niggas came up off a style that I made up...but if all I hear is me ...then who should I be afraid of?".
But yo..I fucks wit this joint son. Real talk tho...I woulda fucked wit it even if there was no vocals until the Bawse comes in n gets his ignorant on anyways. If somebody gets me a instrumental of this joint Imma jus play the shit outta that muthafucka too son. Matter fact Im lookin forward to hearin OTHER niggas body this shit namsayin (no...not you Papoose). Cos son gave this nigga one of the top 3 beats of the year nahmean. Plus Just Blaze beats is like jeggings son....they can make almost any bitch ass look good.
11. Cameras/Good Ones Go (Interlude) - That Jon B I hear son? Anyways this nigga jus gon get his Lil Tunechi froggy flow on now. At the end of the day this is jus some more of that "Here nigga hold my purse music" that son been specializin in for the last few years. But its almost like a cherub came n whispered in the niggas ear after he recorded this shit n told him "Son...this shit aint moist enough b...you need to come do a duet wit me now" for the interlude...
"Dont you go gettin married...dont you go get engaged
I know youre gettin older...dont have no time to waste
I shouldnt be much longer...but you shouldnt have to wait
Cant lose you..cant help it...Im sorry Im so selfish"
12. Doing it Wrong (ft Stevie Wonder) - This nigga jus took bitchassedness in hip hop to a whole new level on this one b. Like son jus discovered new frontiers in softness that aint nobody EVER explored my nigga. I cant even believe what the fuck this dude sayin yo.
"When a good thing goes bad its not the end of the world...its jus the end of a world that you had wit one girl"
No dignity whatsoever b. None. ZERO son. Not a single solitary snowflake of fuckin decorum left in this nigga. I tried to type out the muthafuckin words to the hook n that delicate ass shit jus floated off the screen when I did it yo...so you jus gon have to listen to that shit yaself son. This nigga gotta orchard of pauses blossoming all over this muthafucka. If yall enjoy these audio vagina injections thats cool...but I cant fuck wit this shit nahmean. I kno son is legedary as fuck...but Stevie playin his harmonica over that shit at the end dont mean shit to me neither b. Might also be time for my dude to jus think bout lettin go of those braids already par. Those muthafuckas start like 8 inches further back than they did in the 80s nahmean. No disrespect to the legend but Im jus sayin b...
13. The Real Her (ft Lil Wayne & Andre 3000) - Now its time for this niggas ode to savin strippers. Havin 3 Stacks on this joint dont make this shit any less unacceptable b. But whenever the citizens of Los Hopeless get tired of lettin niggas slip singles down the crack of they asses they jus flash that muthafuckin vagina spotlight up on the clouds n wait for this nigga to slide down a rainbow witta cape on his back n a tote bag full of sweaters he jus finished crocheting to come save they asses son. The boy Drake is fightin on the front lines of the war for keepin broads from takin they clothes off for money b. This nigga saves more hoes before 9 am than most niggas gon save in they whole life namsayin.
14. HYFR [Hell Ya Fuckin Right] (ft Lil Wayne) - If this muffin-top havin ass nigga wasnt jus squirtin out another sonnet bout the same shit n talmbout textin a broad the whole time I woulda said son killed the first 40 seconds of this muthafucka. Anyways yo....I dont hate this shit. I mean...I dont really fuck wit it like that neither...but I aint mad at it yo. Im sayin I dont see myself wantin to smack a nigga witta light post or nothin if he play this shit in front of me or nothin. Like I dont feel like I gotta slap a nigga into another realm of the universe n go seed his broad up if he accidentally lets this shit come thru the speakers namsayin. I aint gon necessarily throw a volcano at a nigga if he got this shit playin in his crib n I can hear the muthafucka nahmean. I mean...thats definitely some kinda improvement over the rest of this bullshit yo.
16. Practice - The fuck is this shit b? This nigga turned Back That Azz Up into a ballad? Thats like some shit only a rape nigga coulda imagined son. Anyways b...the message to this muthafuckin joint is basically that all the other niggas that this broad done fucked wit was jus practice for her...for when she would eventually meet Aubrey's beige ass n be able to show him what she done learned namsayin. Again yo...Im sayin...who says shit like that? Wack ass creepy rape type niggas is who b. Niggas who hang out by the pool at night time n scare broads away...like this nigga rite here...
18. The Motto (ft Lil Wayne) - So niggas is really still jerkin yo? Son...this shit jus makes me wanna hurt innocent creatures b. I might need to go punt my neighbor's dog across the fuckin block jus to relieve my muthafuckin tension after listenin to this bullshit rite here again son. This shit was like havin herpes in my ears b. You might only live once son...but apparently you can keep makin gay ass music forever if you wanna.
So thats the whole album son...or what Im gon refer to as that cascading waterfall of invisible dicks that sons fans call his music. Swear this nigga got the most forgiving fans on earth tho b. The nigga gets that exotic budgie tatted on his shoulder..."Nah chill...he jus doin him son". The nigga drops a million odes to savin broads..."Ayo chill...son jus tryna live par". The nigga starts rockin sweaters from 1983 Sears catalogs n shows up to awards shows wearin grandmother cardigans made from old sofas..."Nah chill...son jus stayin tru to hisself"...Im sayin b...the nigga could show up at a awards show wearin a unitard n niggas would still be like..."Jus let that nigga do him....he jus doin him son". Yall muthafuckas should be ashamed of yallselves tho....for lettin it come to this shit in the first place namsayin. Yall LET this niggas get to the top like that. Im talkin to niggas who emcee too. Yall done allowed this nigga to come in the door...n now he done opened the floodgates to a million other soft ass muthafuckas jus like him son. Ayo nobody disrespected Father MC n Candyman like that back in the day b. Them niggas was makin careers outta droppin soft ass shit too. Dudes aint try to crush they whole existence or nothin...but niggas aint exactly say "Ayo Father MC n Candyman yall niggas should be showin the rest of us muthafuckas what direction to take Hip Hop in yo...". But I dont even blame Drake b. That nigga SHOULD be able to have his lane. Its all good son. I hate that niggas music n he definitely that corny nigga at the club who pops open a bottle of champagne n then sniffs the cork...but he allowed to follow his dreams b. But yall niggas put that muthafucka on a pedestal. Like I said b...I dont blame Aubrey tho. Drake is what happens when ya son is conceived during a period week namsayin. That nigga was jus conceived on the wrong end of a menstrual cycle yo. These niggas gon always exist bruh. But I aint no follower son. If I dont like some shit...I dont jus rock wit it cos thats what broads be listenin to... n cos I want broads to be feelin me. Thats like sprayin yaself wit perfume jus cos chicks be enjoyin that shit...Yall effeminate ass niggas smarten up. Niggas always callin Drizzy homo tho. Im sayin yo...I dont think thats even the case b. N if it was...I aint judgin the nigga based on none of that yo. I mean...maybe son is kinda homo-esque. But either way par...this niggas masculinity been terminally ill for a hot minute now...that shits been on life support since Thank Me Later dropped b. But Im sure that muthafucka done kicked the bucket forreal wit this album son. If you niggas cop retail versions of this shit dont forget to take the cd in for a yearly pap smear b. Ayo fuck this shit son. Aight peace.
By the way yo...Imma give this shit...
1 Zeus Slap outta 5
or
5 Drake Pinky Salutes outta 5
Take ya pick b.
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